New Life...

So, I learned something totally fascinating today. There is an entire male bathroom etiquette that most women are probably unaware of. Here's kind of how it works...

1. If there are three urinals in the bathroom and the outer two are occupied, a proper man will wait rather than use the urinal in the middle. Only that weird guy goes in the middle.

2. If their is a stall open, it is okay to go in just to urinate, but they don't really lock the door. They just push it closed.

3. No hand shaking, fist bumping, or high fiving is allowed. Apparently, we unduely give them a bad rap for not caring about good hygience practices. They actually give mean glances to the men who do not wash their hands. According to Scott, about 95% typically wash their hands before exiting the facilities. Ladies, we can relax about shaking or holding the hands of our boyfriends, friends, husbands, and dads. Good to know!

4. Talking is only allowed or encouraged at the sink. It is too awkward to chat while doing their business.

5. Looking around is not allowed at the urinal either. Just stare straight ahead, flush, and move on.

6. Absolutely NO touching is allowed. This includes good-gaming, goosing, or shoulder bumping while at the urinal. I have been told this is due to the great deal of balance and concentration needed to complete the task at hand without any mishaps.

In fact, there is even an iPhone app that teaches proper male restroom etiquette. It's called "The Urinal Test". Apparently, for men, this urinal choosing process is a no-brainer. They just naturally do it - no deep thought required. I, however, had to practice on the app. I really had to stop and think about it....

"If I choose this urinal and another man comes in, then we will be side by side....If I choose the one next to the wall, then only one person could potentially end up next to me...."

I'm proud to say that after a little practice, I scored a 23 out of 25. My ranking was "part of the upper echelons of urinal etiquette practitioners". Oh yeah!!!!

Now, before you go to judging me for writing such an odd blog or playing a game not designed for women, know that my fascination with this subject is indeed innocent. It's like learning about another culture. It's so intriguing to me! It's kind of like being allowed to go behind the door that says "Authorized Personnel Only". It's like being able to access some place where you are not allowed. I wonder what else I don't know about men that is oddly interesting or vastly different from the culture of women.

To any men who are reading this, kudos to you for your oh-so-impressive bathroom etiquette and hygiene!

Also, I must give a shout out to my guy friends who so kindly enlightened me to the unknown culture of men....

Thank you Scott, John, Alex, Blake and Vince!